Because I am here to educate.
[Note: 2 posts in a day? What a fertile mind!]
-Radiohead: Everyone thinks they like Radiohead. Everyone thinks they should like Radiohead. I guess it is pretty “Avant-Garde” for Brits and people who don’t know anything about music.
-Johnny Cash: It baffles me that people like Johnny Cash (even if he wasn’t a country musician). He’s not even a bad-ass, like his proponents would have you believe. He was a bad singer and a bad guitar player. So he played at a prison. Big fukkin deal- so did Metallica.
-The Pixies: Someone please tell me what’s so great about The Pixies. Is it Frank Black’s annoying-ass voice? The mediocre songwriting? The unoriginal sound? I can’t decide.
-“Indy Singer/Songwriters”: Iron and Wine, Bright Eyes, Bonnie “Prince” Billy, and their ilk. So, more dudes (with beards, more often than not) writing (sensitive) songs with acoustic guitars, but without the support of major record labels. Great. Enough said. [Note: “When The President Talks To God” is one of the best protest songs ever written, however.]
-The Arcade Fire: Go to hell. That is all.
-The Ramones: Bleh. Moderately catchy, moderately fast (The Damned=way faster while also being talented at the same time). Who cares? Plus, Johnny was a Republican.
-90% of the first wave of British Punk: Pretty much everyone except the aforementioned Damned, Wire (possibly one of the BEST BANDS EVER), the amazing Buzzcocks, and Johnny Rotten & Steve Jones from the Pistols. Sid? Fuck off.
-The Shins: Cause they just came on the radio, and they’re not that good. Yeah, really.
-70’s Prog bands: Rush, Asia, etc. [Note: King Crimson and Can are excluded, because they are actually underrated] These bands are the epitome of lame. For serious. No one cares about your wanky concept album.
-Stevie Ray Vaughn/Kenny Wayne Shepard/Other white guys that “just really identify with the blues,” loooove Hendrix, and play a Stratocaster: Oh my god. Really? You expect me to believe you have the blues? Those faces you guys make when you’re feelin’ a blues riff travel straight from your soul through your fingers are ridiculous- hate to break it to you.
-Pink Floyd: See Radiohead, subtract 30 years.
-Oasis! How could I forget Oasis? What is so groundbreaking about these two twats? The British music press’ crowning achievement in hype selling (see also: Libertines, Arctic Monkeys, Kooks, Fratellis).