Monthly Archives: July 2008

Things I Like to Make Fun Of:

Because I’m an asshole, and am really quite funny.

-Overly concerned parents (“My Babies!”)
-PT Cruisers
-People talking on their Bluetooths
-MySpace profiles
-Your favorite bands
-Jock culture: bros, brew-has, hoverload, brew-hos, lifted trucks, dirtbikes, wakeboarding, slutty girls with blonde/stripey hair, Huntington Beach, Riverside, Pennywise (ha, “Bro-Hymn,” this shit writes itself), Social Distortion
-Heartwarming stories
-Sex In The City
-Bad taste in guitars
-Scene kids
-The Valuation of Adulthood

I think I’ll stop there. This could’ve gone on forever.



Filed under Empty Promises/Threats, Hipsterism, Lameness, Ranting, Waste

Dear Matt Taibbi

Your articles show a wit, insight, intelligence, and analytical prowess that are incredibly uncharacteristic within the brutal journalistic abortion that is Rolling Stone Magazine.
You deserve better.


[See what I mean?]

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Filed under Uncategorized


Here’s some lists I made based on where I grew up and where I live now.

5 Best things about growing up in Paso:
1. The splendid isolation of Hall Manor
2. Living far out of town forced me to nerd out (books, computers, guitars), and initiated a renaissance when I got the drivers licsense.
3. Oldest friends
4. Highschool shenanigans and/or hijinks.
5. Punk rock and skateboarding

Best things about living in Orange County:
1. Best beaches in America
2. Weather
3. Entertainment (including proximity to LA/SD)
4. Cleanliness
5. Employment

Best things about Corona Del Mar specifically:
1. Awesome shit in walking distance
2. Hearing the waves, sea lions and foghorns in the morning
3. The smoothest paved streets I’ve yet to experience=skateboard pleasure
4. Trees, grass
5. Thai Del Mar

Worst things about Paso:
1. People: white trash, lake rats, motocross bros, general brew-ha action, druggie ass meth burnouts, people from highschool I don’t want to see at the movie theater over the holidays
2. Christian Conservative assholes
3. Heat. And Cold.
4.  The wine “industry”
5. Isolation

Worst things about Orange County
1. Christian Conservative assholes
2. People: white trash, lake rats, motocross bros, general brew-ha action, scene kids
3. Wealth and sense of entitlement
4. Weather
5. Music scene

Best restaurants in SLO County
1. Cafe Roma
2. Thai Classic
3. The new Italian place across from Boo Boo’s
4. Tio Albertos
5. Big Sky Cafe

Best restaurants in my immediate area:
1. Thai Del Mar
2. Giorgio La Trattoria
3. El Matador (tied with) Great Mex
4. Native Foods
5. Bandera has fabulous pork loin

Worst towns in Orange County:
1. Laguna Hills/Aliso Viejo/Mission Viejo/Lake Forest faceless, culture-free staletropolis
2. Huntington Beach broverload/hoverload
3. Garden Grove, shit covered in shit, baked on asphalt
4. Fountain Valley, like above, but literally smelling of shit.
5. Fullerton should probably be reclassified as part of Riverside, but must remain free of too much scorn because Fender (and G&L) originated there.

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Filed under Food, Hipsterism, Lameness, Ranting, Travels

Recent Happenings

Not too much, really.

-My Wolverine-like healing factor. After finishing some (eventually fantastic) Steak Au Poive in the oven, I grabbed the handle of my trusty All-Clad 10″ fry pan, only to absolutely sizzle the palm of my left hand with the most painful burn I’ve ever experienced.After several hours of palming a cold beer bottle (the shape contours nicely to the palm, of course), and some neosporin the pain subsided, and the blisters were gone in less than two days. Under a week later, there is almost no evidence of the event. Such an injury would have healed on our old X-Man freind in mere moments, but I like to think I’m somewhere in between Wolvie and an average dude.

-iPhone firmware v2.0. As if enough hasn’t already been written on the internet about this… I’ll keep it short. The iTunes servers crashing at about 8 am friday moring left me phoneless until about 1 pm. But jesus, it was definately worth it. The apps already available are great, and they’re only going to get great-er. If someone doesn’t write a Pro-Tools/Logic wireless controller app and a Kaoss Pad/theremin emulator, I’m gonna have to learn to code it myself.

-The Dark Night. I’ve successfully avoided seeing all previews for the movie, except the one I couldn’t avoid before (I think) Indian Jones ATKOTCS. I think I may be on to something here.

-Paul’s Boutique. My current musical obsession- especially Looking Down The Barrel of a Gun. One hell of a jam, and pretty fuckin’ gangster too. A whole album of miniature masterpeices.

EBow. Finally got one, and it’s super sweet. It seems to overdrive my pickups more than I remember the ones I’ve played in the past have. Maybe that’s just because I’m doing it right now. The one problem is that it can’t do chords, but that’s what cello/violin bows are for.

-Freedom Guitar San Diego. What guitar shops are closed on Saturdays? Re-fuckin-diculous. Our Fender Showman finding mission was cut tragically short. At least we got to go to the zoo… Oh, wait.

-San Diego Zoo. Yes, I’ve confirmed my hunch that zoos are a major bum-out. Most of the animals looked really depressed- especially the lions, bears (Sun and Grizzly) and the elephants, which I found quite disheartening since San Diego is considerered to be quite an advanced establishment. I’d hate to see the zoos that aren’t so generally well thought of. The gorillas seemed pretty impervious to the sweaty masses behind the glass, which was very cool. There was also a particularly active (and impressive) mountain lion- it chased after one small kid that ran by and totally stared down some other kid that was making growling noises at it. Had the majestic beast not been in a cage, the first kid would have been quite an afternoon snack. Awesome. They should let one zoo patron be devoured by a wild animal every year or so to keep everyone’s respect level up. I think the San Francisco Zoo has already implemented this program.

-Fireworks from the porch. One of the many benefits of the new pad.

-Oh, and I almost forgot: The God Delusion. Can’t put it down. My only critisicm is that I’m afraid I’ll like it so much I’ll finish it very quickly. Read it. Now.


Filed under Apple Zealotry, Food, Hipsterism, I call them 'records' and not 'cds' because I'm an elitist, Lameness, Ranting, Travels