The new pad is infested… with helicopters.
Seriously. All the time (like, once a night, at least). The bastards are so loud one can’t hear the television if the windows are open. What business does the ghetto bird have in Corona Del Mar? I want to know.
Speaking of infestations- bugs seem to be especially attracted to me lately, and it’s gross. Spiders, beetles, the horde of wasps that has kicked me out of my preferred lunch area… Ridiculous. Mosquitoes have always been overly attracted to me, which is unfortunate due to my high level of reaction to them. The little fuckers nearly caused a nervous breakdown in France a few years ago, and are responsible for my hatered of the town of Nice (and, interestingly enough, my love of socialized French pharmacies).