As The Mighty Marvin Gaye Once Said, "What’s Goin’ On?"

Answer: nothing.
Sorry Marvin.

-Too many records to buy, too little $$$. New Sonic Youth tomorrow will burn a hole in my wallet, however.

-Lakers, Lakers, Lakers. I’ve kept my love of basketball (actually, just Lakers Basketball really) hidden from nearly everyone for a really long time.
I suppose there are several reasons for this:
A. Definitely not punk.
B. Too much Nike. All that swoosh represents is the enslavement of thousands of Chinese babies.
C. Team sports go against my ruggedly individualistic nature. The American dream, right?
Anyways, in my old age (57 this November), I’ve been getting to the bottom of the following:
A. Not being so much of a dick.
B. Getting back to my roots.
C. “It’s like Hamlet said- ‘To Thine Own Self Be True.'”
“Hamlet didn’t say that
“I think I remember Hamlet accurately.”
“Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn’t say that. That Polonius guy did.”
So that’s a lot of existentialism backing up my Los Angeles Lakers fandom. I’ve got no exit strategy for that point.

Ladies & Gentlemen: The Fabulous Stains! Finally available. So, the movie may not technically be very well filmed, but the message is undeniable. They should show this to young girls everywhere. It does a very good job of telling the story of strong girls without trivializing them. Netflix it- seriously. I first learned about it through the transcendently-before-it’s time Grand Royal Magazine. Which brings me to:

Grand Royal Magazine. If there was ever any one group of people that were/are consistently ahead of every curve, it’s the associates of Grand Royal. Initially, GR was the Beastie Boys vanity record label- however, it evolved into the most unbelievably trend-predating tastemaking organization in the history of pop culture. Not only did GR bring us 4 beyond-great Beastie Boys full lengths (and countless single/eps: see Aglio E Olio, Country Mike’s Greatest Hits, Root Down), but they also introduced most of the world to Spike Jonze (Sabotage. Where The Wild Things Are. Girlfilms. Genius!), At The Drive-In, artist sanctioned mp3s (really. Ask this guy), and the Mullet (I’m not kidding). Grand Royal Magazine (“Long Awaited, Much Anticipated, Grossly Outdated”) was their compendium of coolness. It only lasted 6 issues, but contained way too much excellence to post here. I have all the issues except for the first and fourth ones, which are nearly impossible to find- so let me know if you come across one. I re-read them all from time to time, when I feel like I need tips on Adidas Vs. Puma, building a demolition derby car, the best ways to harass Ted Nugent, Moog Synthesizers or the truly original expose on the mullet epidemic. Ultimately, the Beastie Boys’ unwavering ability to see the future got them out of the record label business before the shitstorm, and now Grand Royal Magazine is a memento of a cooler time- just the sort of thing that the magazine would’ve written about.

-Dinosaur Jr, Freak Scene. Had to “get” the remastered version of Bug (see first item, above). It sounds 1000 times better than the original version, and just fucking shreds. I am now 100% a Dinosaur Jr. fan, whereas I was only like 50-75% before Saturday. Also, perhaps I could work this verse into my wedding vows?
Sometimes I dont thrill you
Sometimes I think Ill kill you
Just dont let me fuck up will you
cause when I need a friend its still you

Cute!

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2 Comments

Filed under Blowing It, I Am Still Punk, I call them 'records' and not 'cds' because I'm an elitist, Ranting, Run-On Sentences, Vinyl Snobbery, Wedding Attack

2 responses to “As The Mighty Marvin Gaye Once Said, "What’s Goin’ On?"

  1. onefinemess

    Are you guys doing the priest/pastor wedding thing?

    If so, I highly suggest, nay *demand* that you work that in.

    Because I'm a jerk. I guess.

    Unfortunately I can't vibe with you on the relevant music or sports. Sorry man. If it helps, once I watched an African soccer game for about 10 minutes, on purpose.

  2. brian

    Nah, our friend is becoming a Deputy Commissioner of Marriage for the day, so there will be no religious fellows involved. That way we can fucking say anything we fucking want without JC's man cramping our style.
    I enjoy soccer myself, but that's probably just because I'm a commie contrarian. Everything else, though, is for jocks and nazis.

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