Category Archives: Blowing It

New linkssssssss.

Check out my baby brother’s baby blog right here.

New stuff from me coming soon, but don’t hold me to it. Look at my Twitter feed if you want to hear some loser incessantly snark.

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The Two Worst Defenses For Liking A Band

Let’s dust off the cobwebs and begin a new year filled with bad attitudes.

1. “You need to see them live!”
Why would I want to see songs I already don’t like live?

2. “They are really nice guys!”
This is what happens when you can’t survive on talent alone. The only exception to this rule is Dave Grohl.

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Filed under Blowing It, Deal With It, Gig Time, Hipsterism, I Am Still Punk, I call them 'records' and not 'cds' because I'm an elitist, Lameness, Ranting, Stupid Lists, Uncategorized

Commence Media Empire

http://theunimpressive.tumblr.com/

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Filed under Blowing It, Computers are Dumb, Deal With It, Empty Promises/Threats, Hipsterism

Regarding: Pitchfork Top 500

Make no mistake- I think Pitchfork is the most pretentiously douchey (music) publication that has ever existed. But that doesn’t stop me from hate-reading it daily and, even occasionally agreeing with their opinions. This has been especially true over the last several months- Phoenix, Sunn O))), Dinosaur Jr., Mos Def, Isis, Japandroids, and Bat For Lashes have all received their “Best New Music” certification (admittedly, anyone should think these are excellent records, BECAUSE THEY ARE. So it’s not like I’m applauding Pitchfork’s ability to not avoid the fish filling it’s barrel to the brim). Continue reading

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Filed under Blowing It, Computers are Dumb, Deal With It, Earplugs, Empty Promises/Threats, Hipsterism, I Am Still Punk, I call them 'records' and not 'cds' because I'm an elitist, Lameness, Pontification On Things That Shouldn't Concern Me, Ranting, Waste

I Know This Kind Of Goes Without Saying, But…

Don’t judge someone based on how you see them portrayed on television.

Case In Point: Shane Powers might just be a fuckin’ genius, and at the very least- someone I would probably get along rather well with.
Background: Survivor is one of my favorite television shows for any number of reasons that I refuse to go into right now. And every season on Survivor there is at least one person that Bugs The Shit Out Of You. Oh his season of Survivor, Shane was That Guy- at least for me.
I always thought that I was a good enough judge of people to see through how the editors portrayed them on the show, but now it’s evident that I really can’t. Damn you, Mark Burnette and your crack team of reality designers. Read Shane’s blog and see how he’s actually a really cool (and really intelligent) guy. Shane Powers: sorry I judged you incorrectly. You seem like a rad dude. Thanks for the learning experience.

Today’s lesson: Don’t Judge People As Their TV Personalities Come Across- unless it’s Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin or Jay Leno (they are indisputably real life assholes).

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Filed under Blowing It, Deal With It, I Watch Way Too Much Television, Ranting, Republicans Are Horrible

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

[Or: Brian Steals His Ideas From The Head]

Writer’s block is the proverbial bitch. Let’s jack Travis Keller’s questions for people more notable and talented than I, shall we? I need something to fertilize my creativity.

1. What artist inspired you to create art?
Jimmy Page, Kurt Cobain, Ian MacKaye, Maurice Sendak, Shel Silverstein, Spike Jonze

2. What or who still inspires you to keep on keeping on?
Dawn, family, fucked up music, Anthony Bourdain, Hemingway

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Filed under Blowing It, Computers are Dumb, Deal With It, Empty Promises/Threats, Food, Hipsterism, I Am Still Punk, I call them 'records' and not 'cds' because I'm an elitist, Ranting, Republicans Are Horrible

As The Mighty Marvin Gaye Once Said, "What’s Goin’ On?"

Answer: nothing.
Sorry Marvin.

-Too many records to buy, too little $$$. New Sonic Youth tomorrow will burn a hole in my wallet, however.

-Lakers, Lakers, Lakers. I’ve kept my love of basketball (actually, just Lakers Basketball really) hidden from nearly everyone for a really long time.
I suppose there are several reasons for this:
A. Definitely not punk.
B. Too much Nike. All that swoosh represents is the enslavement of thousands of Chinese babies.
C. Team sports go against my ruggedly individualistic nature. The American dream, right?
Anyways, in my old age (57 this November), I’ve been getting to the bottom of the following:
A. Not being so much of a dick.
B. Getting back to my roots.
C. “It’s like Hamlet said- ‘To Thine Own Self Be True.'”
“Hamlet didn’t say that
“I think I remember Hamlet accurately.”
“Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn’t say that. That Polonius guy did.”
So that’s a lot of existentialism backing up my Los Angeles Lakers fandom. I’ve got no exit strategy for that point.

Ladies & Gentlemen: The Fabulous Stains! Finally available. So, the movie may not technically be very well filmed, but the message is undeniable. They should show this to young girls everywhere. It does a very good job of telling the story of strong girls without trivializing them. Netflix it- seriously. I first learned about it through the transcendently-before-it’s time Grand Royal Magazine. Which brings me to:

Grand Royal Magazine. If there was ever any one group of people that were/are consistently ahead of every curve, it’s the associates of Grand Royal. Initially, GR was the Beastie Boys vanity record label- however, it evolved into the most unbelievably trend-predating tastemaking organization in the history of pop culture. Not only did GR bring us 4 beyond-great Beastie Boys full lengths (and countless single/eps: see Aglio E Olio, Country Mike’s Greatest Hits, Root Down), but they also introduced most of the world to Spike Jonze (Sabotage. Where The Wild Things Are. Girlfilms. Genius!), At The Drive-In, artist sanctioned mp3s (really. Ask this guy), and the Mullet (I’m not kidding). Grand Royal Magazine (“Long Awaited, Much Anticipated, Grossly Outdated”) was their compendium of coolness. It only lasted 6 issues, but contained way too much excellence to post here. I have all the issues except for the first and fourth ones, which are nearly impossible to find- so let me know if you come across one. I re-read them all from time to time, when I feel like I need tips on Adidas Vs. Puma, building a demolition derby car, the best ways to harass Ted Nugent, Moog Synthesizers or the truly original expose on the mullet epidemic. Ultimately, the Beastie Boys’ unwavering ability to see the future got them out of the record label business before the shitstorm, and now Grand Royal Magazine is a memento of a cooler time- just the sort of thing that the magazine would’ve written about.

-Dinosaur Jr, Freak Scene. Had to “get” the remastered version of Bug (see first item, above). It sounds 1000 times better than the original version, and just fucking shreds. I am now 100% a Dinosaur Jr. fan, whereas I was only like 50-75% before Saturday. Also, perhaps I could work this verse into my wedding vows?
Sometimes I dont thrill you
Sometimes I think Ill kill you
Just dont let me fuck up will you
cause when I need a friend its still you

Cute!

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Filed under Blowing It, I Am Still Punk, I call them 'records' and not 'cds' because I'm an elitist, Ranting, Run-On Sentences, Vinyl Snobbery, Wedding Attack