Cause I’m a cold, hateful bitch. This could be a lot longer I suppose, but my attention span is way too short for that. So here are a few things (records) that have been on my mind lately, for better or worse. Continue reading
Category Archives: Vinyl Snobbery
First, let us ponder the following questions:
- Can you name a Woodstock-era hippie that hasn’t sold out? Of course you cant. Example: Santana DVX Wine.
- Why do you still hate me, Pandora Internet Radio? I’ve all but given up on you after the 2 Radiohead songs-into-Pink Floyd fiasco the other night. It’s like you’re trying to get me to blog about how much I hate the music you say I should like. I’ve cracked the theory and discovered my problem with Pandora- I’m too informed about music. I know what I like, and what is more, I know what I don’t like. The odds that Pandora is going to introduce me to something new are incredibly slim. Continue reading
I never really thought about it before, but it could very well be the case. Let’s examine: some of the finest records by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, New Order, Erasure, Depeche Mode, U2, Nine Inch Nails, The Jesus & Mary Chain, (the real) Smashing Pumpkins… I never realized how many records of his I have until I looked at this.
Thankfully, his nickname wasn’t given to him because he creates a sonic flood or anything as pretentious. The guy just really, really likes tea. And yes, he’s British, but I digress, of course. Continue reading
Yes, we’ve all gone first-wave-emo bonkers hearing about the impending Sunny Day Real Estate reunion tour (or at least I have). You may have not noticed one crucial element, however. Luckily I, being the nitpicky sort, did.
-Too many records to buy, too little $$$. New Sonic Youth tomorrow will burn a hole in my wallet, however.
-Lakers, Lakers, Lakers. I’ve kept my love of basketball (actually, just Lakers Basketball really) hidden from nearly everyone for a really long time.
I suppose there are several reasons for this:
A. Definitely not punk.
B. Too much Nike. All that swoosh represents is the enslavement of thousands of Chinese babies.
C. Team sports go against my ruggedly individualistic nature. The American dream, right?
Anyways, in my old age (57 this November), I’ve been getting to the bottom of the following:
A. Not being so much of a dick.
B. Getting back to my roots.
C. “It’s like Hamlet said- ‘To Thine Own Self Be True.'”
“Hamlet didn’t say that
“I think I remember Hamlet accurately.”
“Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn’t say that. That Polonius guy did.”
So that’s a lot of existentialism backing up my Los Angeles Lakers fandom. I’ve got no exit strategy for that point.
–Ladies & Gentlemen: The Fabulous Stains! Finally available. So, the movie may not technically be very well filmed, but the message is undeniable. They should show this to young girls everywhere. It does a very good job of telling the story of strong girls without trivializing them. Netflix it- seriously. I first learned about it through the transcendently-before-it’s time Grand Royal Magazine. Which brings me to:
–Grand Royal Magazine. If there was ever any one group of people that were/are consistently ahead of every curve, it’s the associates of Grand Royal. Initially, GR was the Beastie Boys vanity record label- however, it evolved into the most unbelievably trend-predating tastemaking organization in the history of pop culture. Not only did GR bring us 4 beyond-great Beastie Boys full lengths (and countless single/eps: see Aglio E Olio, Country Mike’s Greatest Hits, Root Down), but they also introduced most of the world to Spike Jonze (Sabotage. Where The Wild Things Are. Girlfilms. Genius!), At The Drive-In, artist sanctioned mp3s (really. Ask this guy), and the Mullet (I’m not kidding). Grand Royal Magazine (“Long Awaited, Much Anticipated, Grossly Outdated”) was their compendium of coolness. It only lasted 6 issues, but contained way too much excellence to post here. I have all the issues except for the first and fourth ones, which are nearly impossible to find- so let me know if you come across one. I re-read them all from time to time, when I feel like I need tips on Adidas Vs. Puma, building a demolition derby car, the best ways to harass Ted Nugent, Moog Synthesizers or the truly original expose on the mullet epidemic. Ultimately, the Beastie Boys’ unwavering ability to see the future got them out of the record label business before the shitstorm, and now Grand Royal Magazine is a memento of a cooler time- just the sort of thing that the magazine would’ve written about.
-Dinosaur Jr, Freak Scene. Had to “get” the remastered version of Bug (see first item, above). It sounds 1000 times better than the original version, and just fucking shreds. I am now 100% a Dinosaur Jr. fan, whereas I was only like 50-75% before Saturday. Also, perhaps I could work this verse into my wedding vows?
Sometimes I dont thrill you
Sometimes I think Ill kill you
Just dont let me fuck up will you
cause when I need a friend its still you
Mastodon: Crack The Skye– Still great. Actually, rather unfortunately, I lost my cd of this (it may have been stolen at the carwash- that was the last place I saw it, but I thoroughly doubt those dudes are Mastodon fans), so I hadn’t had much chance to listen to it until I burned myself a new copy. In the metal world, no one does layering like Mastodon, and it really must be turned up pretty loud to get all the little interesting parts. That, and I’m deaf.
Beastie Boys: Check Your Head Remastered B-Sides– Perhaps more than any other record (save the Descendents’ Somery and the Minor Threat record), Check Your Head defined my teenage/highschool years. It was even in my cd player when I picked Dawn up for our first date (cute). I had tapes of tapes of bootlegs with these B-sides on them, so it brings back a lot of memories of causing/getting into trouble. And, more philosophically, it really inspired me to play music and broaden my horizons. These came as a free lossless download when I ordered the CYH Remastered vinyl, so I can finally replace my 96k mp3’s that were among the first digital audio files I ever encountered.
Wire: Chairs Missing– Bigger fan of Pink Flag, but I Am The Fly is a brilliant song, as the limeys might say. I’ve already listened to the record twice today. Interestingly enough, the last time I listened to it, according to iTunes was exactly 364 days ago. Also of note- if you want to remaster your records and have them sound great- get the Wire dudes to do it. I don’t know how, but they have the best sounding remastered catalog ever, especially considering they recorded it originally in the late 70’s with ultra-low budget punk gear. Even Jimmy Page can’t remaster that well.
Godspeed You! Black Emperor: Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven– This is some serious shit. I kid you not, I had to turn off the lights and light a candle to listen to this. And it worked. Aaaaatttttmmmmmooooosssssppppphhhhheeeeerrrrreeeee.
The record kind of sneaks into your brain like a parasite and feeds on your nerves, and you’re none the wiser. The 3rd “movement,” entitled Sleep, WILL fuck your shit up.
[When I originally wrote this, the Buddyhead website was down (way down), but, merely a day or two after I clicked “Post,” theyre back (way back). Even with a new gossip post! It’s like 2002 all over again! So, in short, THEY WIN.]
Because there are a few people that do it far better (and far less annoyingly).
If you’re interested, check these out (in no particular order):
Buddyhead– the original and best. They’ve mellowed out (at least in terms of spending time on the internet), but have always been unstoppable. Much to the chagrin of their enemies (countless), they actually know what they are talking about and have great tast in music (I’m willing to forgive the Oasis-worship, dudes). For god’s sake, they’re language artists, brah.
Stereogum– All around top quality (and it’s sister site, Videogum, is one of the best sites of any category, ever)
Idolator– Interesting articles, less news-reporty than Stereogum or BV.
An Aquarium Drunkard– Low post volume, but of the absolute highest quality, musically, aesthetically, and writing-wise. Stunningly good.