Make no mistake- I think Pitchfork is the most pretentiously douchey (music) publication that has ever existed. But that doesn’t stop me from hate-reading it daily and, even occasionally agreeing with their opinions. This has been especially true over the last several months- Phoenix, Sunn O))), Dinosaur Jr., Mos Def, Isis, Japandroids, and Bat For Lashes have all received their “Best New Music” certification (admittedly, anyone should think these are excellent records, BECAUSE THEY ARE. So it’s not like I’m applauding Pitchfork’s ability to not avoid the fish filling it’s barrel to the brim). Continue reading
Category Archives: Waste
First, let us ponder the following questions:
- Can you name a Woodstock-era hippie that hasn’t sold out? Of course you cant. Example: Santana DVX Wine.
- Why do you still hate me, Pandora Internet Radio? I’ve all but given up on you after the 2 Radiohead songs-into-Pink Floyd fiasco the other night. It’s like you’re trying to get me to blog about how much I hate the music you say I should like. I’ve cracked the theory and discovered my problem with Pandora- I’m too informed about music. I know what I like, and what is more, I know what I don’t like. The odds that Pandora is going to introduce me to something new are incredibly slim. Continue reading
I’ve never wanted to walk out a movie at so many different points- including within the first 5 minutes. I don’t even want to talk about it, really.
So here are some movies I’d have rather spent my time/money on:
-Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector
-An American Carol
-Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever
-Charlies Angels 2: Full Throttle
-Paul Blart: Mall Cop
-Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li
-Speed/Speed 2 (Double Feature!)
-The DaVinci Code
-Star Wars Episodes 1 through 3
-Dave Matthews Band Live Bootleg Series
-Any Cameron Diaz/Drew Barrymore/Julia Roberts romantic comedy
-Testicles Being Crushed In A Vice: An Exhausitve 13-part Documentary
I like doing surveys because I’m not really very creative. So in the spirit of staleness and predictability, I appropriated one from Pitchforkmedia.com, where they ask pretentious and overrated musicians about (mostly music-related) things. Let’s do this!
>> Favorite Songs from the Past Year
Hmmm, off the top of my head:
Dig, Lazarus, Dig!– Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Time To Pretend– MGMT
>> Favorite Older Songs at the Moment
Elton John- Rocket Man (I heard it on TV last night, so it’s fresh in my mind.)
>> Favorite New Band
This question is bad because “new” is so fucking subjective. You’re the worst, Pitchfork.
But in the spirit of playing along, MGMT is probably the newest band in my collection.
>> My Dream Collaboration
To collaborate with me? Anyone, almost.
To collaborate with each other: Josh Homme & Jack White on a Desert Sessions record, Boris and Mastodon on a noise-metal record.
>> Favorite Song Ever
How could someone choose this? Here’s a selection:
A Day In The Life– The Beatles
Teenage Riot– Sonic Youth
Tangerine– Led Zeppelin
Plenty For All– Hot Snakes
>> Best Recent Concert
The last one I went to was one of the best- Mogwai in LA. As of right now, that’s also the nest concert I’m going to.
>> Last Great Film I Saw
Man On Wire
>> Last Great Book I Read
I’m reading Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin. It’s great.
>> Favorite Piece of Musical Equipment
Mainly the versatility of my Gibson SG, but really any guitar- especially electrics plugged into a shitload of pedals and a fucking loud amp.
>> First Record You Ever Bought
You know, I don’t really remember, and I was trying to figure this out the other day. The earliest one I can remember is buying the Nirvana cds of Nevermind and In Utero from my friend Lawrence for $10. He had decided he liked rap. But that was in like 6th or 7th grade, and there must have been some sooner. The first records I remember getting as a gift were: The La Bamba Sountrack, a Cars tape, and Michael Jackson’s Bad.
>> Favorite Record Shop
Fucking Amoeba Hollywood of course. It’s always crowded, but that’s because it the world’s best record store.
>> Favorite City to Play
Based on my extremely limited touring experience, I’m gonna say San Luis Obispo.
>> My Dream Merch Table
None, like Fugazi.
>> A Popular Artist I’d Like to Fall Into Obscurity
It’s hard to be an “artist” when you are popular, but Diddy or Britney Spears fit, in the absolute loosest definition of the term. As for those who consider themselves “artists,” I have to say Radiohead and Bruce Springsteen (sorry Andy). Oh, and Arcade Fire!
>> Obscure Artist I’d Like to Become More Popular
See above. I don’t really want to live in a world where everyone listens to “obscure” shit, but I think Queens of The Stone Age should be more popular.
>> Strangest Display of Affection from a Fan
>> Best Purchase of the Past Year
Have to say the Subaru.
>> Best Thing I Did This Year
>> Favorite Venue
>> Favorite TV Show at the Moment
Too many. Arrested Development is the all-time best. Others: No Reservations, Lost, Classic Albums. Top Chef has lost much of it’s appeal since Thumb-Head’s win.
>> Favorite Video Game at the Moment
Temporarily gave up Zelda to focus on Wii Sports and Call of Duty: World At War. Now it’s back to Zelda.
>>Favorite Radio Show
The oft-lamented Jonsey’s Jukebox, and the newly reborn Harmony In My Head.
Are the fucking best. I suggest you get hip to them ASAP.
Other things I’m digging:
…Trail of Dead: Source Tags & Codes- Still good. Need the new one.
The Juliana Theory: Music From Another Room- San Luis Obispo flashback, and I’m not ashamed.
Spiritualized: Songs in A+E, Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space- Jason Spaceman wins.
Sunn0))) & Boris: Altar- I love the doom.
Counting the number of despondent wealthy people I hear daily convinced that those commies are going to steal their hard earned cash and redistribute it to the unwashed and undeserving- priceless.
The Top Chef winner- he doesn’t get mentioned by name. Dear Padma, we’ll forget this ever happened.
Shunning my instruments- not consciously.
Getting tickets for expired registration stickers, then having the parking cop PUT THE ACTUAL TICKET ON TOP OF the temporary registration in the windshield.
Not getting tickets to the Clarity x 10 tour. Blew it.
Blogger’s Block- blowing it.
Take Myspace for instance- it’s THE WORST. It’s like the Paso Robles of web 2.0, all tacky and trashy, full of people you don’t want to see except out of morbid curiosity, made up to look modern at first glance. You don’t know why you go back.
In reference to the previous post regarding my dissapointment with the demise of Indie 103.1 fm Los Angeles: the new, web-only version of the station is better in every way except two: no Steve Jones, and you can’t listen to it in your car (actually, Dawn’s car- my radio doesn’t work anyway). Listen here if you desire.
Awesome surprises- yesterday they played Slint. Fucking Slint! Unbelieveable. And not just any Slint song- Good Morning, Captain is nearly 8 minutes long. Normal Version. Crappy Live Version.
Today- Wire’s Ex-Lion Tamer, and not even on Rollins’ show. Normal Awesome Version. Not Really Awesome At All Rollins Cover Version. (See how I brought those together?)
Two of my favorite bands/songs ever, but I suppose I shouldn’t be that suprised- either of those tracks is probably being played hundreds of times a day somewhere on the internet.
[Subitem A: All the internets were like “lolz, indie sucked, listen to KUCI ftw, icanhascheezburger brb!!!111” KUCI is the UC Irvine college radio staion (No doy, Jack Donaghee). It is just as bad and possibly worse than I remember college radio being. The d.j.s might actually be retarded. Can you be mentally handicapped at the UC level? All they really have to do is comb Pitchfork for playlist ideas or play horrrrrrrrible “World Music.” Dear internets: you were so wrong. KUCI=Epic Fail, lolz!!!!111]
I watched some live Nine Inch Nails movie/dvd thing on the HD music video channel the other day and it was APPALLINGLY HORRIBLE, sound-wise at least. Hardly any drums, no synths or guitars in the mix at all, only bass and lead vocals. I’m chalking it up to someone at the TV station fucking it up, because I can’t believe there’d be anyway a band would release that shit on DVD- it would be humiliating.
Dear Coachella Festival: Fuck you. I’ve successfully avoided going to your festival for the last 10 years or so. But those days my be nearly over. Look at this shit! Amazing.
Bands I wanna see: Fri- A Place To Bury Strangers, Conor Oberst, Franz Ferdinand, Girl Talk (meh, maybe), Leonard Cohen, Morrissey, Paul McCartney (!), Patton/Rahzel.
Sat- Amy Winehouse (assuming she’s still alive), Glasvegas, Henry Rollins, Liars, Mastodon, Tinariwen, Turbonegro, TVOTR.
Sun- Fucked Up, My Bloody Valentine, No Age, Paul Weller, The Night Marchers, X, Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
(I did not plan to bold those just because they are all M’s. They’re just the ones I’d like to see the most (again). Weird!)
Christ though, $269 for 3 days, plus the need to find somewhere to stay. They have fucking layaway though.